My time with a newborn is winding down and even though it has been nothing but bliss and happiness, I still find myself in tears now and then just over the passing of time. Vivi, you fill places in my soul that I can’t even describe. The joy that I feel when I see your little gummy grins is more than my heart can take sometimes. It feels like I have always loved you, and I have no doubt that I have always needed you- even before you were here.
I have this overwhelming need for you to stay small and dependent on me, but also this excitement to see the amazing things you will do in your life. I thank God for choosing me to be your Mommy, and I thank you for the joy that you are and the happiness that you bring to our home. I didn’t know if I would ever meet you, if you would only be an ache and longing in my heart, but here you are. You have made me a better person in these last few months, and my love for you is unshakeable.
I go through emotion after emotion when I look at you and the little bundle of happiness that you are, and I will never probably be able to accurately describe the feelings that you have placed in my heart. But I know that God knows, and He knew you were coming… even when I was unsure. He knew that you would have a place in our family and that you would heal my heart in so many ways. I can never express how thankful I am….. but He knows…
